What Day is it - night has turned to day but I have no clue so the word for Day 5 was without doubt BEWILDERMENT. I continued to be compliant and move forward and to my surprise we eventually made it to my crew, but why were there no chairs? Apparently no sitting or stopping allowed so Josh, Corrine and I headed off to our next crew stop at Route 11. Corrine brought great distraction, energy and positive spirit on this section. The ascent up Bromley Mountain was gradual with sweeping views as we emerged out of the woods and on to the ski hill.
Photo Credit: Josh White
Corrine did what she does best and opened her stride on the downhill, with me following behind. It did not seem to take long before we were back at my crew, which meant a new pacer. I remember seeing Jason dressed in running clothes and loaded up with his pack and asked "Why is that man dressed?"
Jason back in the game with me, my guess is he was having a blast! I kept moving forward and most of my energy was spent trying to keep my eyes open. I rubbed my eyes on my tank top, "Either it's been a really long day or I have been wearing this outfit for several days...maybe both?" I told Jason I was struggling, he offered the solution of squirting me with cold stream water to wake me up. I agreed, but then after we were down the trail a bit and he started squirting me again I had forgotten about giving consent.
I felt so out of control and out of touch with reality that at the next point when I saw George I asked for his jacket, sat down and said we needed to have talk. I needed to have a say, I needed to feel like I was having fun again and my voice was going to be heard! I would assume it was a bit comical when I sat down with George and "that man".
Photo Credit: Berne Broudy
Maybe since I was on the ground I figured I should just have a nap as well, but that was cut short given we were apparently on a very popular section of trail.
Photo Credit: Berne Broudy
During this time Jason and Berne had given George and I space, then we all spoke together so everyone knew where I was at. I certainly was not giving up, but what we were doing was not working any more. I needed to be part of the decision making process again and be involved.
Jason and I moved forward and stopped at Stratton Pond so I could take a dirt nap. It was so beautiful and I was so tired, but I couldn't nap. I basked in the sun and admired the glamping that was going on with folding rocking chairs, fishing poles, fancy cook stoves, etc. After being warmed by the sun it was time to press on so we started up again. We made it to Kelly Stand Road where Kristen and Sue were lined up to pace me and wow they were going to have their hands full!
What happens next, that is a great story, but I don't know much of it. A dirt nap shortly after departing the crew in the middle of the trail followed by a bad fall on a rocky section after I lost my balance. Unfortunately the lap was not long enough to make a difference in my state. I was so stuck in my head, I felt so alone, so confused and felt pain like never before. I tried to piece everything together, to understand what was happening and with each step that only seemed to get harder. I was not able to communicate any of this, the only thing I could seem to share was that I wanted to be left and that I needed sleep. They agreed I could have some sleep once we reached the apex of the climb so until then I continued to hallucinate and see everything from bears with scarfs riding ski lifts to my puppy dog Twig.
At the top of Glastenbury Mountain, Sue and Kristen spread an emergency blanket and emergency bivy sack out for me underneath the fire tower. I took off my shoes, my pack and headlamp like I was climbing into a queen size bed at a five star hotel. I tucked my head inside and tried to warm up. I am told I was allowed to sleep for 3 rem cycles before being woken. I struggled to get my shoes back on and my feet were so wet and cold they felt like cement blocks. What happened after we started hiking again was me feeling immense pain. My right ankle was swollen and only getting larger by the moment, but I could handle the physical pain, what got me was the emotional pain.
For some reason I had come to the realization that George must be dead, because if he wasn't he would have saved me from the situation I was in. He had to be aware that I was stuck in time and space. He had to know that all the terrain looked the same and that even though I moved forward, I got nowhere. He had to know that everyone had altered motives and that I was in jeopardy. As we continued heading south I contemplated if I was alive, dead or somewhere in between. Everything was up for debate (including whether or not this was all linked to the UFO's that the pentagon had just done a press release on).
The sun was up enough now that it was starting to warm the air. A few miles out from Route 9 George and Twig came hiking up. I remember asking George if he was real. I was still confused. We sat for a few minutes, I think I asked a lot of questions and then began stumbling my way down the trail.
Photo Credit: Kristen Lundy
A bit later up came Doug from UnTapped with a soy latte in hand. Feeling its warmth and tasting it made it feel real, so I didn't need to ask Doug if he was real as well. When we all got down in the parking lot we were greeted by the team. I don't know what I said or did. With fourteen miles to go I knew the record was out of reach, but in reality all I cared about was sorting out what was real and what was a manifested in my mind due to sleep deprivation. Goodness I was so happy that George was alive!
Photo Credit: Ansel Dickey
After a nap and some discussion with George I decided that my 2020 Long Trail adventure would this time end 14 miles short of the Southern Terminus. It was not an easy decision or one that came quickly and then my focus became on recovery.
Ultimately I did not achieve my goal of setting a new women's supported FKT on the Long Trail, but I learned a tremendous amount about myself, my family and my friends.
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